ITS ALREADY MID JULY AND PRELIMS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND 'A' LEVELS IS BEHIND THE CORNER BUT REALLY NOT PREPARED IN ANY WAY.NOT PHYSICALLY,NOT MENTALLY AND DIFINETLY NOT CONCEPTUALLY AND FACTUALLY.

ALL THESE DAYS AT JC WAS LIKE A DAY IN THE THEME PARK OR LIKE PLAYING AT THE PLAYGROUND.I HAVE BEEN WASTING MY ENTIRE TIME SO FAR IN JC.YES EVERY JC STUDENTS MAIN GOAL IS TO GET TO THE UNIVERSITY WILL GOOD GRADES AND THUS ALL THIS DAYS AT JC IS A WASTE.

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT WAS THOUGHT LAST YEAR.THE FORMULAE,THE CONCEPTS,THE FACTS AND ALL THE TECHNIQUES THOUGHT.AND WITH ALL THAT TO ABSORB BEFORE PRELIMS,I AM STILL BURDEN BY THIS YEAR JC2 WORK.ALL THE TUTORIALS AND OTHER HOMEWORK IS REALLY SLOWING ME DOWN AND DRAINING MY ENERGY AND MY ZEST.

FROM A 'A' STUDENT IN SECONDARY SCHOOL TO A NORMAL GRADE,'B','C','D' STUDENT IN JCI AND NOW A 'O,F,F' STUDENT IN JC2.IN JUST LESS THATN 3 MONTHS TIME IM GOING TO SIT FOR THE 'A' LEVELS BUT MY STANDARDS ARE DETERIOTATING.

THOUGHT I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE MYSELF AND PLAN MY STUDY STYLE TO GET THE MOST OUT OF IT,THEY JUST REMAINS AS IDEAS AND WAS NEVER CARRIED OUT.ALL MY BRILLIANT IDEAS SEEMS TO BE USELESS WHEN ME MYSELF IS NOT GOING TO PERFORM IT.

WHY HAVE I CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE GRADUATING FORM SECONDARY SCHOOL?
I HAVE NOT BEEN MYSELF WHO USED TO SHOOT FOR THE SKY AND AIM HIGH AND REALLY WORK TO ACHEIVE IT.BUT RATHER,IM NOW MORE CONTENTED WITH WHAT I GET BEIT AN 'A' OR A 'F'.IT JUST DOESNT BOTHER ME BECAUSE PARTLY PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE GETTING SIMILAR RESULTS.BUT WHAT SHOULD I CARE WHEN PEOPLE ARE GETTING LOW GRADES WHEN I WILL BE THE ONE THAT WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GRADES THAT WILL APPEAR ON THE CERTIFICATE NEXT YEAR.

HAVING SEEN ONE OF MY FRIENDS TAKING IT SLOW BY CHOOSING TO RETAIN IN JC1 TO HAVE MORE TIME AMKES ME REALLY PONDER WHETHER IT IS A GOOD MORE.BUT I WILL NEVER PUT MYSELF IN A JC1 SURROUNDING AGAIN.REALLY DEEP DEEP INSIDE I WANT TO USE THIS TIME TO STUDY AND REALLY MUG TO GET THOSE GRADES I EYED FOR SINCE I STEPPED INTO THIS NEIGHVOURHOOD JC.

COULD IT BE THAT I LACK MOTIVATION NOW?IM THE SORT OF GUY THAT WILL WORK HARD WHEN THERE IS SOMEONE BEHIND ME AND MOTIVATE ME TO PUSH MYSELF HARD TO GET WHAT I WANT.BE IT TO IMPRESS TO THE OTHER PARTY OR NOT TO DISSAPOINT THE PEOPLE INVOLVE OR JUST TO GET INTO THEIR GOOD BOOKS.IN SECONDARY SCHOOL,GIRLS USED TO BE MY GREATEST MOTIVATION.THEY INDIRECTLY MAKE ME WORK HARD TO IMPRESS THEM EVEN THOUGH AT THE END OF THE DAYS THEY DONT SEEM IMPRESSED.ANYWAY I ALREADY PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN DO IT IF I WANT TO.TOO BAD IN JC,I DONT HAVE THAT KIND OF AFFECTION FOR GIRLS ANYMORE BECAUSE I KNOW IT WILL NEVER WORK.SO HOPEFULLY GOD MIGHT SENT ME SOME 'ANGEL' THAT MOTIVATES ME TO WORK MU BUTTS OF.CHANCES ARE SLIM.

TEACHERS CAN BE ALSO MY SOURCE OF MOTIVATION.I AGREE THAT SOMETIMES IM A SUCKER BUT FOR A GOOD REASON.I STUDIED HARD TO SHOW TO THE TEACHER THAT IM NOT THE SORT THAT LAZE AROUND AND WILL GET LOW GRADES BUT WORK TO REPAY THEM FOR THEIR EFFORTS THAT THEY PUT IN THAT INSPIRE ME TO WORK HARD AND GETS INTO THEIR GOOD BOOKS.BUT NOW MY TEACHERS ARE NOT THOSE KIND.THEY DONT SHOW THAT PASSION AND EFFORTS THAT THEY REALLY WANNT THEIR STUDENTS TO EXCEL.MISS ONG I REALLY MISSED U SO MUCH.I HOPE U R STILL THE ONE GUIDING ME.

SO THE PROBLEMS IS THAT I CANT FIND INNER MOTIVATION TO OTIVATE MYSELF.I NEED SOME EXTERNAL SOURCE TO ACT AS A CATALYST TO START THINGS UP.SO PEOPLE OUT THERE AND FRIENDS PLEASE REALLY MOTIVATE ME TO STUDY AND WORK HARD.

SO LATELY I THOUGHT TO COVER UP FOR THE TIME I WASTED,I WILL REDUCE MY SLEEP IN A DAY.SO THERE I WAS KEEPING MYSELF AWAKE UNTIL 2AM AND SICNE MY BODY IS NOT USED TO THE CHANGE,IT CAUSE SOME CHANGES TO MY BODY AND MY BODY SEEMS VERY VULNARABLE TO ACHES AND ILLNESSES.SO NOW IM BATTLIN THE SIDE EFFECTS.IM ON THE VERGW OF GETTING A FEVER AND MY BODY IS CONSTANTLY ACHING EVERYWHERE AND FEEL VERY TIRED.LATELY MY BODY HAVE BEEN VERY HEATING,I GUESS THROUGHT THE CONTRIBUTION OF MY STRESS AND HECTIC SCHDULE.

LOOK LIKE I WILL BE VERY THIS FEW DAYS WILL STEPPING DOWN REHEARSALSUNTIL TUESDAY.AND STILL I HAVE LOTS TO COVER FOR MY UPCOMING TESTS AND TUTORIALS.

SPORTS DAY IS ALSO AROUND THE CORNER SO I AHVE TO KEEP MYSELF IN GOOD SHAPE FOR THE EVENT IM RUNNING IN.ALSO I HAVE TO BE THERE TO SUPPORT MY HOUSE AND GIVE THEM THE MOTIVATION THEY NEED TO SUCCEED.

SPOKE TOO MUCH...OFF I GO.